Recently, The Citizen News published an opinion piece by Masoka Dube titled “Breaking the Silence: Women Must Report GBV.”
The article (which I won’t even honour with a backlink) argued that women need to report gender-based violence (GBV) as a solution to combat abuse.
Even though the author emphasised the importance of advocacy and action, the piece seemed to place an undue burden on survivors. And it leaned heavily into victim-blaming rhetoric.
The article made me angry. Deeply uncomfortable, too. And because women are often told we’re too emotional, too sensitive, I did what I’ve been trained to do: I read it again.
I took a breath, lined up my facts and bullet points, and made sure I wasn’t letting emotion cloud my judgment.
But no, it’s not about emotion.
It’s about the audacity.
Men’s audacity and hypocrisy
The audacity of a whole-ass man to write a piece in which he victim-blames women, while completely missing the point of his very own story.
It’s about the audacity to shift responsibility onto the victims instead of the perpetrators, and the arrogance of doing so while admitting to participating in the very thing he’s chastising others for: the bystander effect.
Let’s unpack this, shall we?
The writer recounts witnessing an incident of gender-based violence (GBV) in which a senior female police officer was threatened, assaulted, and humiliated by her partner in public.
He describes hearing her screams and seeing her plead for her life while the man held a gun to her.
And what did he do? According to his own account, nothing. Zero. Dololo. Fluffall.
He didn’t intervene.
He didn’t call the police.
He didn’t mobilise the crowd to step in.
Instead, he approached the victim’s terrified friend to ask why she hadn’t done something.
The irony here is staggering.
He stood there, a passive observer pontificating on how women should “defend themselves” and “report abuse.”
The problem with victim-blaming GBV survivors
Yes, women should be able to report abuse.
Yes, we should feel safe enough to do so without fear of retaliation.
But in reality, reporting abuse often puts women at greater risk. Many don’t report because they know they won’t be believed, or worse, they’ll face further violence.
The writer marvels at how a “great police officer” could “allow” herself to be abused, as though her profession or physical stature should make her immune to the dynamics of domestic violence.
Since he seems to have missed the memo, allow me to repeat what has been said ad nauseam over the years:
Abuse isn’t about strength or weakness. It’s about power and control.
And even the strongest among us can be rendered vulnerable by the people we trust.
Opportunity to do good… missed.
What’s missing from his analysis – and I’m being generous in calling it that – is any acknowledgement of the systemic barriers that prevent women from escaping abusive situations.
- Where is the discussion of socio-economic dependence?
- Of cultural norms that normalise violence against women?
- Of institutional failures that leave survivors unprotected even after they report?
Instead, we get a reductive, patronising lecture:
Women need to stop ‘acting as if it’s normal’ and ‘start defending themselves.’
As if the problem lies with us, not the men holding the guns.
I am, by the way, a firm believer in women defending themselves. In an ideal world, I’d want every woman to be capable of putting a man flat on the ground, if necessary.
But I also know (and yes, this bears repeating) that the problem doesn’t lie with women.
When writing about abuse and GBV:
A side note about best practices when writing about GBV – articles should include resources and helpline information for survivors.
Why? Because advocacy without actionable resources is performative at best and harmful at worst. Survivors who read these articles deserve better.
They deserve more than to be scolded by someone who’s done nothing to help them.
You know, something like this:
Do you need to speak to someone? Call the Tears Foundation helpline on 010 590 5920 (open 24/7, 365 days nationwide).
So close, Citizen, so close
To the publication’s credit – and in contrast to Masoka Dube’s victim-blaming narrative – The Citizen News recently published an editorial titled: Men must change their entitlement.
The editorial boldly states, “Yes, it is all men.”
And while that may make some men uncomfortable, it’s a necessary provocation to address the real issue.
In this piece, The Citizen acknowledges male entitlement (oh the irony, hey Masoka!) as the root of GBV. But then, unfortunately, it allows the follow-up opinion piece to shift responsibility back onto the victims.
If the publication can recognise systemic issues in one editorial, why allow an opinion piece that perpetuates harmful stereotypes and neglects systemic solutions?
Anyway…. moving on. Here’s what that article could have included:
- To the men committing these acts:
- Stop. Full stop.
- The onus is on you to end the violence.
It is most definitely not on women to endure it or navigate the minefield of reporting it.
- To bystanders:
- Step up.
- Call the police.
- Intervene when it’s safe to do so.
Holding abusers accountable isn’t just the responsibility of the victim; it’s on all of us.
- To institutions:
- Do better.
- Protect survivors.
- Fund shelters.
- Train law enforcement.
- Make reporting safe and justice attainable.
- To survivors: You are not to blame. Ever.
And until we stop blaming victims and start holding perpetrators and systems accountable, nothing will change.
If you or someone you know needs support, contact the Tears Foundation helpline at 010 590 5920. Help is available 24/7, every day of the year.
